Thursday, June 17, 2010

things my boyfriend does

Gosh, writing these posts at home is difficult when Boyfriend is hovering around wanting to know what I am writing about him. Anyway, I locked him out of the room so here we go...

My Boyfriend Sleeps...A Lot

Boyfriend sleeps a lot. Nine times out of ten, if I walk into a room that he is in, he is sleeping. Or drinking. Or sometimes both. Which we all know is dangerous because he spills. But mostly he is sleeping. He prefers couches to beds which is insane to me, as we have a really, really awesome bed. I don't really like when he sleeps in bed with me anyway. He hogs the bed, snores, breathes loudly and generates a lot of body heat. He also has vivid dreams.

The other night he was in bed with me and we were asleep. It was the middle of the night and I woke up for some reason. Groggily, I realized I was awake because Boyfriend was convulsing next to me. I peeked one eye open to see what was the problem. He appeared to still be asleep, but every so often would twitch an arm or a leg violently. 

Still half asleep, I was wondering if there was something wrong with him when suddenly he leaped out of bed and raced into the living room. I laid in bed, sleepy and confused and wondered what the hell was going on. I was slightly afraid he was sick and might puke and I don't do puke so I stayed put. He was out of my line of vision through the bedroom door. I waited to see what he would do. It was silent. He didn't turn any lights on. The best I could guess was that he was standing silently in the dark living room. Then he went into the bathroom and came out a few minutes later. He seemed fine. He got into bed, we both went back to sleep without speaking.

Next morning I asked him what the hell he was doing the night before.

"Oh my God I had a terrible nightmare!" he told me, looking frightened just thinking about it.

"What happened?" I asked, curious.

"I was being chased by a giant bee! Like, giant. You know I hate bees!" *

"Seriously? A giant bee?"

"Yes! It's because of those Orkin commercials with the giant bugs trying to get into people's houses. But seriously, that dream was so scary."

"I guess so. You were convulsing in your sleep."

"Well I was RUNNING! From the giant bee!"

Yeah, I'm okay with him and his bees sleeping on the couch. Now, for this week's bonus feature, which would have been more spectacular had a certain someone not gone through my pictures deleting the ones of him that pertained to this post...the very first Things My Boyfriend Does Collage!!

I used to have so many more pictures of him sleeping. I also threw in one of him as a child because he was so cute. And wearing jammies, so he might as well have been sleeping. Notice he had no food because I'm sure whoever was supposed to feed him was nervous about all the spills.

I'm not sure there will be one of these next week, since, to be completely honest, Boyfriend doesn't do a heck of a lot. There's only so much I can write about him sleeping and sitting on the couch. If anyone has any good boyfriend stories (you know, about Boyfriend, not just any old boyfriend) that I have missed that you think would be good to put up here, let me know!

*He does hate bees. Once, we were at his parents house in the pool and a bee flew near his head and he sprinted out of the pool and ran into the house, slamming the door behind him, leaving me with the bee. Very manly.


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