Thursday, September 2, 2010

things my boyfriend does

It's been awhile since I've done one of these, so I'm sure everyone is just itchin' for more boyfriend stories. So without further ado...

My Boyfriend Does Laundry

"Does" laundry might be a touch generous here. Does he have a lot of laundry? Yes. Does he do it? Occasionally. It amazes me, because I so very rarely see him change his clothes. I've seen him wear the same t-shirt and jeans for days at a time. Yet there is always a huge mound of laundry somewhere in the apartment.

Exhibit A: 

Luckily it was contained to his corner of the bedroom on this particular day. Usually similar (albeit smaller) piles will be in the bathroom, on top of the washing machine, in the washing machine, and strewn across the sofa.

I find socks tucked into couch cushions and belts hanging off the dining chairs. He will proudly say "I'm going to do laundry today!" put it in the wash, and then promptly forget about it, leaving it to sit in the damp, dark machine to rot. It's worse than having the dirty clothes laying around, when he does that. He comes home from work and peels off his work clothes as he walks to the shower, leaving them where they fall.

The funny thing is, I don't know where all these clothes come from. He truly only wears the same five or six t-shirts and maybe four pairs of jeans. I think he may somehow have more clothes than me. Thank God I have as much clothing as I do, because with him constantly "doing laundry!" it's a miracle if I can ever wash anything of mine. 

Secretly, I think he may just keep all his clothing in the laundry constantly to avoid putting it away. I've peeked in his dresser; the drawers are all empty. He's also got  really funny definitions of "clean" and "dirty". Like I said, he'll sometimes just throw on the same outfit three days in a row (I think, I HOPE, he changes underwear on these days...lord knows he showers about 80 times a day). But then we'll go out to dinner, and he'll put on a t-shirt with a nice button up over it, and then he'll come home and promptly toss the button up in the hamper! It wasn't touching skin, it's not like he sweat all over it. Sometimes he hasn't even spilled on it (rare, but occasionally he can make it through a meal without getting it all over himself). 

I don't think I need to explain to him that certain items of clothing can be worn more than once before washing (jeans, button ups, anything that smells clean and is free of debris) and somethings cannot (underwear, socks, any shirts he also used as a bib), but I have been trying for eleven months now to figure out his laundry method and I still cannot grasp it. I just feel bad for the people that live below us. All they must hear, day in and day out, is our washing machine running.

Oh and just this very moment he's informed me he thinks he will go buy new clothes tomorrow. I also hear the washing machine running as I type this. Somehow, the Laundry Tower doesn't look any smaller.


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